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Hi! I'm happy to hear that you'll be coming to Aruba!!! I'm sure you and your family will love your vacation!
I'll try to answer all your questions.
The first thing you could do before renting a car is take a tour of the island. (I recommend ABC-tours) After seeing and getting a feel of Aruba you can then rent a car. Especially if you would want to go to baby beach, rogers beach and spots that are on the other side of the island (like the caves). Busses do go to the other side of Aruba but not all the way to baby beach/rogers/caves.
When you are staying at the Marriott Stellaris hotel you are allowed to go to the Surf and Ocean for eating etc. but not for swimming or to use their part of the beach/pool. They try to keep it separated.
If you are not staying at the Renaissance and want to visit the Renaissance island there is a fee that they will charge you. (I recommend this as well)
There are allot of restaurants located at the high-rise hotel area, walking distance from the Marriott. (here's a couple: Texas de brazil, Moomba Beach (reasonably priced), Hadicurari, Hostaria da Vittorio)
There is a new Mall right next to the Marriott Resorts, it's called Paseo Herencia. If you would like to go to the downtown malls you can take a cab, its to far to walk.
Wild iguanas (the ones you will see at the resort or on the island) are not kid friendly. They will run away.
You should bring your regular traveling items. There are some big supermarkets in Aruba that sell about almost everything, including pampers and food. There are 2 close-by pharmacies that sell medicine (eagle and St. Ana) they are called "Botica".
A must see in Aruba is the Wild side. The north part of Aruba. That's where you will see the real Aruba. If you take a tour you will see this part as well.
If you want to compare Aruba with the other places you've been to, this is what you can expect from Aruba:
1. 99% great weather
2. A safe island
3. ease of communication
4. allot of activities to choose from
5. great food
6. high service
7. a clean island
8. US Dollars are accepted
To sum it all up: 'One happy Island'!
Just have fun and Enjoy Life!
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