[arubamark]

25 Reasons I Owe My Mother

My Mother Taught Me ….

1. To Appreciate a Job Well Done:
If you’re going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning.
2. Religion:
You better pray that will come out of the carpet.
3. Time Travel:
If you don’t straighten up, I’m going to knock you into the middle of next week.
4. Logic:
Because I said so, that’s why.
5. More Logic:
If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you’re not going to the store with me.
6. Foresight:
Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you’re in an accident.
7. Irony:
Keep crying, and I’ll give you something to cry about.
8. Osmosis:
Shut your mouth and eat your supper.
9. Contortionism:
Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!
10. Stamina:
You’ll sit there until all that spinach is gone.
11. Weather:
This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it.
12. Hypocrisy:
If I told you once, I’ve told you a million times. Don’t exaggerate.
13. Circle of Life:
I brought you into this world, and I can take you out.
14. Behavior Modification:
Stop acting like your father!
15. Envy:
There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don’t have wonderful parents like you do.
16. Anticipation:
Just wait until we get home.
17. Receiving:
You are going to get it when you get home.
18. Medical Science:
If you don’t stop crossing your eyes, they are going to stick that way.
19. ESP:
Put your sweater on; don’t you think I know when you are cold?
20. Humor:
When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don’t come running to me.
21. How to Become an Adult:
If you don’t eat your vegetables, you’ll never grow up.
22. Genetics:
You’re just like your father.
23. Roots:
Shut that door behind you. Do you think you live in a barn?
24. Wisdom:
When you get to be my age, you’ll understand.
25. Justice:
One day you’ll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you.