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Thread: Christmas Eating

  1. #1
    Aruba since 1979
    Andrea J.'s Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2007

    Christmas Eating

    Holiday Eating tips

    1. Avoid carrot sticks. Anyone who puts carrots on a holiday buffet
    table knows nothing of the Christmas spirit. In fact, if you see carrots,
    leave immediately. Go next door, where they're serving rum balls.

    2. Drink as much eggnog as you can. And quickly. Like fine single- malt
    scotch, it's rare. In fact, it's even rarer than single-malt scotch. You
    can't find it any other time of year but now. So drink up! Who cares that it
    has 10,000 calories in every sip? It's not as if you're going to turn into
    an eggnog-aholic or something. It's a treat. Enjoy it. Have one for me. Have
    two. It's later than you think. It's Christmas!

    3. If something comes with gravy, use it. That's the whole point of
    gravy. Gravy does not stand alone. Pour it on. Make a volcano out of your
    mashed potatoes. Fill it with gravy. Eat the volcano. Repeat.

    4. As for mashed potatoes, always ask if they're made with skim milk or
    whole milk. If it's skim, pass. Why bother? It's like buying a sports car
    with an automatic transmission.

    5. Do not have a snack before going to a party in an effort to control
    your eating. The whole point of going to a Christmas party is to eat other
    people's food for free. Lots of it. Hello?

    6. Under no circumstances should you exercise between now and New
    Year's. You can do that in January when you have nothing else to do. This is
    the time for long naps, which you'll need after circling the buffet table
    while carrying a 10-pound plate of food and that vat of eggnog.

    7. If you come across something really good at a buffet table, like
    frosted Christmas cookies in the shape and size of Santa, position yourself
    near them and don't budge. Have as many as you can before becoming the
    center of attention. They're like a beautiful pair of shoes. If you leave
    them behind, you're never going to see them again.

    8. Same for pies. Apple. Pumpkin. Mincemeat. Have a slice of each. Or,
    if you don't like mincemeat, have two apples and one pumpkin. Always have
    three. When else do you get to have more than one dessert? Labor Day?

    9. Did someone mention fruitcake? Granted, it's loaded with the
    mandatory celebratory calories, but avoid it at all cost. I mean, have some

    10. One final tip: If you don't feel terrible when you leave the party
    or get up from the table, you haven't been paying attention.

    Reread tips; start over, but hurry, January is just around the corner.

  2. #2
    Senior Member Sunny Beaches's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    That's Great, and by the way there are no calories on Christmas!

  3. #3
    Aruba since 1979
    Andrea J.'s Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2007
    that's right sunny!
    there are none!!!

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