HUMOR (no profanity PG13 )

[Bill]

Orrin please delete that! Im a fisherman and I know they are smarter than me!

[Orrin]

A young executive was leaving the office late one evening when he
found the C.E.O. standing in front of the shredder, a piece of
paper in hand, looking befuddled. "Listen," said the C.E.O.,
"this is a very sensitive and most important document, and my
secretary has left for the day. Can you make this thing work?"

"Certainly" exclaims the young exec., turning the machine on, and
inserting the paper.

"Excellent, excellent!" exclaims the C.E.O. as his paper
disappears inside the machine. "I just need one copy."

[Bill]

Italians...gotta luv'em!

At Saint Mary's Catholic Church, they have a weekly husband's marriage seminar. At the session last week, the Priest asked Mario, who was approaching his 50th wedding anniversary to take a few minutes and share some insight into how he had managed to stay married to the same woman
all these years.

Mario replied to the assembled husbands, 'Well, I've a-tried to treat-a her nice, spenda da money on her, but besta of alla is that I tooka her to Italy for the 25th anniversary!

The Priest responded "Mario, you are an amazing inspiration to all the husbands here! Please tell us what you are planning for your wife for your 50th anniversary..."

Mario proudly replied, "I'ma gonna go get her."

[cindyo]

Bill- good one !

[Orrin]

A kilted Scotsman was walking down a country path after finishing
off a considerable amount of whisky at a local pub. As he
staggered down the road, he felt quite sleepy and decided to take
a nap, with his back against a tree.

As he slept, two young lasses walked down the road and heard the
Scotsman snoring loudly. They saw him, and one said, "I've always
wondered what a Scotsman wears under his kilt."

She boldly walked over to the sleeping man, raised his kilt, and
saw what nature had provided him at his birth.

Her friend said, "Well, he has solved a great mystery for us, now!
He must be rewarded!" So, she took a blue ribbon from her hair,
and gently tied it around what nature had provided the Scotsman,
and the two walked away.

Some time later, the Scotsman was awakened by the call of nature,
and walked around to the other side of the tree to relieve
himself. He raised his kilt...and saw where the blue ribbon was
tied. After several moments of bewilderment, the Scotsman said...

"I donna know where y'been lad...but it's nice ta'know y'won first
prize!"

[Chadd]

This one you don't even have to make up
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/travel/pi...daymakers.html

[Bill]

Originally Posted by Chadd

This one you don't even have to make up
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/travel/pi...daymakers.html

LMAO! How appropriate

[Bill]

To clarify the difference between Swine Flu and Bird Flu is that with Swine Flu you need oinkment and with Bird Flu you need tweetment!

[Bill]

If you wake up looking up like this do not go to work!!!

[Arubalisa]

Hang on to any of the new West Virginia Quarters. If you have them, they maybe worth much more than 25 cents.

The U.S. Mint announced today that it is recalling all of the West Virginia quarters that are part of its program featuring quarters from each state.

This action is being taken after numerous reports that the new quarters will not work in parking meters, tollbooths, vending machines, pay phones, or any other coin operated device.

The problem lies in the unique design of the West Virginia quarter, which was designed by a team of West Virginians . Apparently the duct tape holding the two dimes and the nickel together keeps jamming the machines.

I emailed this to dh this a.m. and he emailed back mentioning that we needed to check out jug of quarters to see if we had any of "these" WV quarter.