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Thread: Letter from a redneck marine

  1. #1
    Senior Member Orrin's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2008

    Letter from a redneck marine

    Dear Ma and Pa,

    I am well. Hope you are. Tell Brother Walt and Brother Elmer the
    Marine Corps beats working for old man Minch by a mile. Tell them
    to join up quick before all of the places are filled.

    I was restless at first because you get to stay in bed till nearly
    6 a.m. But I am getting so I like to sleep late. Tell Walt and
    Elmer all you do before breakfast is smooth your cot, and shine
    some things. No hogs to slop, feed to pitch, mash to mix, wood to
    split, fire to lay. Practically nothing.

    Men got to shave but it is not so bad, there's warm water.
    Breakfast is strong on trimmings like fruit juice, cereal, eggs,
    bacon, etc., but kind of weak on chops, potatoes, ham, steak,
    fried eggplant, pie and other regular food, but tell Walt and
    Elmer you can always sit by the two city boys that live on
    coffee. Their food, plus yours, holds you until noon when you get
    fed again. It's no wonder these city boys can't walk much.

    We go on 'route marches ,' which the platoon sergeant says are
    long walks to harden us. If he thinks so, it's not my place to
    tell him different. A 'route march' is about as far as to our
    mailbox at home. Then the city guys get sore feet and we all ride
    back in trucks.

    The sergeant is like a school teacher. He nags a lot. The Captain
    is like the school board. Majors and colonels just ride around
    and frown. They don't bother you none.

    This next will kill Walt and Elmer with laughing. I keep getting
    medals for shooting.. I don't know why. The bulls-eye is near as
    big as a chipmunk head and don't move, and it ain't shooting at
    you like the Higgett boys at home. All you got to do is lie there
    all comfortable and hit it. You don't even load your own
    cartridges They come in boxes.

    Then we have what they call hand-to-hand combat training. You get
    to wrestle with them city boys. I have to be real careful though,
    they break real easy. It ain't like fighting with that ole bull
    at home. I'm about the best they got in this except for that Tug
    Jordan from over in Silver Lake . I only beat him once. He joined
    up the same time as me, but I'm only 5'6' and 130 pounds and he's
    6'8' and near 300 pounds dry.

    Be sure to tell Walt and Elmer to hurry and join before other
    fellers get onto this setup and come stampeding in.

    Your loving daughter,
    Last edited by Orrin; 06-30-2009 at 09:45 PM.

  2. #2
    Member WhiteSideOut's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    thats a good one i got it in an email last night.

  3. #3
    Senior Member danadog56's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    everywhere and anywhere
    great letter.....Hope Alice is still doing well....

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