When Adult Children move home!

[Windy]

Sometimes I need to vent about this, and maybe there are others out there in the same situation!?
Our (now 27 yr old) daughter and her two girls (3 and almost 7) moved in with us during her divorce as she had no place to stay and no income (her ex has been very difficult!)
Well, it's been 2 1/2 years now! I love her and the girls to bits, and we're all very very close; however she's a terrible housekeeper, which drives me crazy, and of course there are toys, clothes, and stuff all over the place! I have lost my private quiet sanctuary! I've heard it said that when a child moves home, they suddenly act 14 again! This is especially true when I ask her to clean up!
She does work part time -- 2 or 3 mornings a week she has to be there at 6 AM so I'm the one who gets the girls up, fed, dressed, and off to school and daycare. (and I'm thinking I'm too old for this -- already did it!) And then I have to get myself ready for work!
And, of course, when they do move out, I know I'll miss them like crazy!
She spends most weekends with her boyfriend, and the kids are either with them or go to their Dad's -- ahhh, peace and quiet for a couple of days!
OK, I've vented -- thanks!!!!!!

[Andrea J.]

i don't know what to say, and those that know me know i have a big mouth and always have something to say.

you are a good person, a good parent and your husband must be a gem too.

as long as you are physically, mentally and financially able to do for your daughter and grandchildren then you do what you need to do.

ok, when do you open the door and say "begin your own life?"
i have no answer to that.

can u set limits re: the housekeeping?
can u turn the tables and say.............. you are not responsible enough to clean up your mess, i cannot be responsible enough to care for your younguns.


i think we need a "girls week" in aruba.
no husbands
no children
no grandchildren
no nieces/nephews
no pets
we can compare stories and vent.
those men that may feel the need to join us........forget it.

Originally Posted by Windy

Sometimes I need to vent about this, and maybe there are others out there in the same situation!?
Our (now 27 yr old) daughter and her two girls (3 and almost 7) moved in with us during her divorce as she had no place to stay and no income (her ex has been very difficult!)
Well, it's been 2 1/2 years now! I love her and the girls to bits, and we're all very very close; however she's a terrible housekeeper, which drives me crazy, and of course there are toys, clothes, and stuff all over the place! I have lost my private quiet sanctuary! I've heard it said that when a child moves home, they suddenly act 14 again! This is especially true when I ask her to clean up!
She does work part time -- 2 or 3 mornings a week she has to be there at 6 AM so I'm the one who gets the girls up, fed, dressed, and off to school and daycare. (and I'm thinking I'm too old for this -- already did it!) And then I have to get myself ready for work!
And, of course, when they do move out, I know I'll miss them like crazy!
She spends most weekends with her boyfriend, and the kids are either with them or go to their Dad's -- ahhh, peace and quiet for a couple of days!
OK, I've vented -- thanks!!!!!!

[sunworshipperII]

Ohoh I am up for a girls only week count me in.

[nikko]

i'm in!!!! i have taken in my husbands sister and her family twice now because they are homeless.....its daunting.....

i could use a girly vacation....i have never done that!!!lol

[Windy]

A girls week -- oh ya!!! Andrea, you always do have the best answers! We'd probably end up with about 50 of us !!!
I didn't mean my post to be a bitch session or pity party -- most of the time things run pretty smoothly around here! And there's nothing quite like waking up in the night with a little body cuddled up against you! I think we're lucky we get along as well as we do! I realize it's also hard for her, living with Mum and Dad! I can be OCD about the house being tidy, and she just doesn't see it!
Today I'm off for a visit with our older daughter and grandson (almost 7)
-- a 3 1/2 drive to Western MA. She always re-charges me!!! (and I usually get a nice massage too!) I'm so lucky to have 2 daughters as best friends!!!

Nikko, you are a very generous person -- yes, that would be "daunting"!

[Bill]

Can I go on the girls week

She is a lucky girl in many ways! Buy the time I was 27 both parents had gone to the big house in the sky and I'm putting off visiting them for a long time.

[Andrea J.]

only is you dress in drag bill.

i was in my mid 40s when my folks died.
i will never ever get over it.
i lived at home (cept for college) til 1985.
it must have driven then nuts.

[~Amy~®]

Originally Posted by Bill

Can I go on the girls week

She is a lucky girl in many ways! Buy the time I was 27 both parents had gone to the big house in the sky and I'm putting off visiting them for a long time.

I agree! Lost my dad when I was only 12. Moved out of the house at the age of 17 to go to college and never moved back. There were a few very tough years after college but I was bound and determined to "make it".

[Windy]

I too lost my parents early -- was in my late 30's -- how I miss them, and it's been well over 20 years. Went off to school and then college (with a 4 yr break doing fun 60's stuff!) , but moved home for a while to save up for a car -- after being on my own, it was a little weird!

[Windy]

Yup, Bill in drag -- that would make the trip worth it, wouldn't it!!! "What happens in Aruba, stays in Aruba"???!!!!