Amber,
I live 6 months each year in Savaneta, Aruba. There are numerous Americans as well as British, Dutch, Germans, and other nationalities living in Aruba for both work and retirement.
The refinery does dominate the landscape in San Nicolaas. That said, most of my life has been around such industrial places and it doesn't bother me in the least. Sometimes it stinks like crude oil; that's a refinery. As for San Nicolaas itself, it is a former boomtown that is a little down on its luck right now. But it is a favorite place of mine because I have many friends there from the (and I mean with this with affection because I knew Charlie as a friend) "tourist trap

" known as Charlie's Bar to my "Arucano" pals who grew up in the "colony" during the Esso (EXXON) days, to people like Carlito who owns a fried chicken joint at the end of town and so on. Yes, this town features the red light district and I've been on those streets all hours of the night and have had very little trouble (it's not like the places in the US but rather Amsterdam). It's not for everyone, especially young people, and yet it does not really spill over into other areas. (For a complete dissertation on this subject, see my novel, An Island Away. Without too much shameless promotion, this book will give a highly realistic and accurate portrayal of what goes on there, in the form of a novel.)
There are houses for sale in Savaneta, places to rent there, too, like the Aruba Beach Chalets where I know some refinery contractors stay on a long-term basis. The refinery also provides housing in some of the remaining "Colony" houses and they can be very nice. I visited one in March and it was beautiful inside. The beaches close by are Baby Beach and Roger's Beach. Baby Beach is popular with everyone. However, having a home in that area is a bit removed from much of the island in that you have to drive at least to Savaneta which takes about 10 minutes or into Oranjestaad for some things and that takes about 30 minutes depending on the time of day. There are a few small beaches in Savaneta that are mostly uninhabited during the day, kind of like being ship-wrecked there sometimes.
I would recommend renting for quite a while and get the feel of the place. There are many different neighborhoods not far from San Nicolaas that you may find attractive. However, it's not that the houses may or may not be nice. You have to settle in on if you like living in a place like Aruba in general and then specifically in a given area. This takes time. I knew I liked Savaneta from my earliest days, but only because my friends were already there. That, and I knew Charlie who had his place there, and we all hung out together.
There is a group called the International Friends of Aruba. I've been to several of their events and met all kinds of people from different countries and jobs. These people universally like the island and enjoy the company of other ex-pats and Arubans alike. You could easily fit in with this group. They host functions such as happy hours, Easter Egg hunts for children, group dinners, and the like.
So, I wrote too much here. But that's what I do. My hope is that you find Aruba a pleasant place to work and one that is good for your husband's career. Like anything, don't jump in with both feet just to see how deep the water is. Poco a poco. For more photos of local joints and various Aruba things check out my blog which is part of my signature. I'd be happy to answer any of your questions so don't hesitate to ask.
44