Formation of Names of the people of Aruba
To be reviewed, namely, by the King of Aruba (Temporarily residing in Holland)
Due on Junifer 2045
This work shall show how simple names of people residing on any of the islands in the Caribbean should not be mistakenly assumed to be of Indian background – Arawak, Carib, Wayu or any Amerindian which are all known to us as a result of bone-yard picking by science guys or gals. Note following
Name: Thomas Bhags
Kicked he bucket 1980
Commonly known as; “Tea” On his day of demise
THOMAS at age 16 was caught stealing erasers at school which he immediately hid in a secret hiding spot. When asked why, he did not respond. This was duly noted. At age 18 he was caught stealing pencils. When asked why he responded “So that I could write something to use my erasers on.” This was also noted. At age 21 he was caught stealing paper and was imprisoned. Thomas was upset that no-one asked him why. They cops knew why and duly noted their suspicions.
While in jail, his cell mate affectionately called him Tomasito. His cell mate was moved to another cell shortly after recovering from multiple pencil stabbings. Against his will and on threat of erasing anyone who dared call him that, the name TOMASITO stuck.
When released from jail in 1965, Tomasito went to work at a luggage store where the owner was an old time retailer always on the lookout for a new brand or special line of bags. Tomasito went the straight and narrow road and the owner liked him very much. As a way to shorten his name, the old owner used the first and last two letters of his name and called him TOTO. The name had a nice ring to it so the old retailer copyrighted it and some years later the name was inherited by his daughter in law who became a gazillionaire selling bags called TOTO.
Toto left the employ of the old retailer in the year 1970, when at age 30 he went to work at the refinery. Refinery workers (being the Macho guys they are) had a field day with his name and after work at a bar for a beer called him Tata, Titi, Tutu or any other multitude of names. Toto demanded for this to stop and in one of their beer guzzling sessions, he agreed to just being called “Toe.” One of the braver workers kidded him and asked, “Are you biggy or pinky?” A few days later he was found in a dark alley behind the library with a multitude of pencil holes in his feet, the concentration of those holes being in his big and little toes. Things calmed down and he was then known as “TOE.’”
Toe hung in there at the refinery until 1975 when he left to work as a janitor in town at a local high school. Coincidentally this was the same one he went to as a young kid. Toe was one hell of a great janitor. He had fun with the kids and kept the school in tip-top shape and running perfectly. One Friday afternoon, a young girl asked him to play with her. Toe agreed and for many days, the two could be seen after school playing “Hangman”. The girl forgot to bring her dice on day and she introduced him to another game – Tic-Tac-Toe. Not only did Toe like the game but when the small child called him TIC TAC, he actually enjoyed it.
Tic Tac enjoyed his work at the school very much however he was dismissed for budgetary reasons and was given a nice recommendation. It is not known how, but one day after his dismissal, the school found two large boxes of erasers and pencils with a small note that this should ease the pain. (what goes around…..) His letter of recommendation was re-written and it made it relatively easy for him to find any job he wanted with exception of being a minister.
Tic Tac applied at the local bank but the Director felt that he should have a different name badge and made it T.T. This was pronounced Tee Tee and to avoid more unexplained pencelings, he himself changed it to just “T.” Some months after making the name change official, he saw a television program that had as a lead character, a man called by the same name. – Mr. T Tic tac disliked this and went back to the notaries office and made yet another name change. He changed it to “Tea.”
During the month of Teptsember in 1980, “Tea” was attending a customer at the bank when he felt odd and unceremoniously died at his desk amongst unfinished paperwork. They gently moved his body and hired someone else to finish with the customer.
At his funeral, the Monument read as follows:
Thomas Bahgs DOB 1940 – 1961
Tomasito Bahgs 1961 – 1965
TOTO Bahgs 1965 – 1970
Toe Bahgs 1970 - 1975
Tic Tac Bahgs 1975 – 1978
T Bahgs 1978 – just a couple of days
Tea Bahgs 1978 - Teptsember in 1980 Dead as a door nail
His coffin was made by the combined efforts of jail inmates and the kids at school from glued together pencils.
It is what it is so kwitchurbitchin and love your name
Anyone want to buy the Brooklyn bridge?