Congratulations on your choice! Aruba has so much to offer. Most hotels have great, reliable babysitters on-staff or on-call.
About dinner: Flying Fishbone is indeed a great choice. Also, Hyatt and Marriott offer these "private" dinners on the beach as well, with photographer, guitarist, etc. My husband and I liked Azull at Westin when they just started, it's just a few couples, toes in the sand, friendly staff.
I have seen arubafairytales.com organize complete relaxation days for couples for their anniversaries, just contact Indira via the website, if you would like some assistance.
A sunrise breakfast on the beach is also beautiful, I know Hyatt used to do that for one couple every year, you just have to request it.
Smaller vessels will also accommodate small groups (couples) for private sunset cruises.
I wish you a great anniversary celebration. Enjoy!
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