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Thread: How old is too old?

  1. #1
    Senior Member robin's Avatar
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    How old is too old?

    This is probably a strange question, but I am going to ask it anyway.

    Two guys I was friends with in high school became fathers-one two years at age 55 for the first time-wife 18 years younger and this week the other became a father for the third time at age 57 with wife #2 who is 20 years younger.

    Personally, I am happy to have had my boys when I was 29 and 30. I loved being there as they grew up. I love children, but I could not imagine having a newborn at my age or my hubby at his age(same as me). I'd love to be a grandparent although I don't know if that will ever happen or not.

    So, here's my question, how old do you think is too old to become a parent?




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  2. #2
    Aruba since 1979
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    Andrea J.'s Avatar
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    that question will never be answered.

    I am glad too that I had my son when I was 31.
    Lots of my sons friends have parents that are now in their 70s.

    (my husband's parents were 45 when he was born.........ya that is too old imo)

    his parents were just a few years younger than my grandparents.

    Robin, being a grandparent is the best!!
    Encourage those boys to find spouses and spit out a few young'uns.

    Quote Originally Posted by robin View Post
    This is probably a strange question, but I am going to ask it anyway.

    Two guys I was friends with in high school became fathers-one two years at age 55 for the first time-wife 18 years younger and this week the other became a father for the third time at age 57 with wife #2 who is 20 years younger.

    Personally, I am happy to have had my boys when I was 29 and 30. I loved being there as they grew up. I love children, but I could not imagine having a newborn at my age or my hubby at his age(same as me). I'd love to be a grandparent although I don't know if that will ever happen or not.

    So, here's my question, how old do you think is too old to become a parent?

  3. #3
    Senior Member Traceyd14's Avatar
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    My grandmother is actually younger than my mother in law. And my mom and oldest brother in law were in the same high school at the same time. But my husband is the youngest if 5, I think having your 1st at on older age is different than your last.
    The answer for me was 40. If we made it to 40 without having a child, that's where I felt it was too late. I cant imagine having enough energy after work and other obligations to parent an infant or toddler. In our early 40s we have friends who are grandparents and others just starting their families. I dont think there is a set age, I think it depends on your relationship, the roles each parent will play, and your overall health and wellness.


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  4. #4
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    My mom was a renaissance woman. She was born in 1919, had her own business, then met my dad and had my brother at 34 & me at 37, which in those days was old. And her identical twin (my aunt) had her kids the same age. For me personally, never wanted children so any age is too young or too old. Ironically I kept getting asked to be a godparent though, which I am. There are mothers and there are aunts. I am an aunt.

  5. #5
    Senior Member nancyg56's Avatar
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    I think this is an incredibly personal question becuase people are so different. I was a Nana at 45, and that was fine with me. I think about how I would have been able to actively parent at that age, and I cringe. I was able to keep up with my Kady, enjoyed her immensely, but for me, it was on the sidelines, not actually keeping up day in and day out. Now my husband? He is still chasing kids down at 66, never seeming to tire. I can still remember counting the seconds until he would return home so I could turn the children over to him.
    My son's and daughter in law are in the foster to adopt program, and at 44 I am not at all sure my daughter in law will have the stamina needed to care for a child 24/7. I know they will be wonderful parents, however there is a reason that many children whose parents started later in life are involved in more sedate activities, and I know that any child these two raise will be steered to anything that is not sports! LOL!

    I know that there are women out there who are able to begin parenthood over 40, but I know I was not one of them. God Bless those who can keep up! LOL!


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    Tony Randal 75 wife was 25 when they had a baby
    Mic Jagger 73 wife 23 when they had a baby
    Not for us, happy to be able to play with grand kids where they are the only ones wearing diapers!
    Sean and Susan
    [Countdown=12/01/2013 2:30 AM;]I'm finally there]Count down:[/Countdown]
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    Senior Member robin's Avatar
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    Thanks for your answers.

    Stu and I went to school together and graduated high school together(did not get together as a couple until our later 20s). Last night a friend from HS stopped by to pick something up. He just became a grandfather for the first time last week. I told him about our classmates becoming parents and it started a discussion. He also has a 15 year old and when he picks her up from school people think he is her grandfather. Stu pointed out that these guys would be in their early to mid 70s teaching a kid to drive. Our friend was concerned about how long into the child's life the father would live and said that at least the mother was in her 30s. But there are no guarantees in life-my mom died at age 35 and my dad at 63.

    My dad was 39 when I was born and 41 when my brother was born, but my mom was 27 and 29 and they tried to have babies for 6 years before I was born.

    Stu's brother and his wife waited until she had her career on track before having kids in their early 40s. Both are spoiled brats who rule over their helicopter parents.

    Andrea, as far as us becoming grandparents-well, our oldest one just turned 28 and just turned 27. She got into a MA/PhD program at Northwestern(fully funded with stipend) and begins class in September so they are moving next month to the Chicago area. It is a 6-7 year program which will require research during the summer in eastern Europe. Our younger one will be 27 in September. He just got his EMT certification and is looking for a job. He does not have a girlfriend. So maybe I'll see grandkids in 10 years.




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    My mom was 24 and my dad was 23 when they had me. I remember being so sad when my mom turned 30 because I thought she was OLD and wasn’t going to be around much longer. LOL.

    Anywho, I am about 90% sure I don’t want kids. But I think if I ever change my mind, I will
    give myself a cut off of a certain age.


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    Senior Member Pegmeister's Avatar
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    Not sure how to define too old. Guess I feel it’s really an individual thing. I know of a few grandparents who ended up having custody of their grandkids and as much as they love them you can see it wears them down. Tom and I didn’t have children. Just never had that nurturing gene I guess.

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  10. #10
    Senior Member Aruba4ever's Avatar
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    We tried and tried for years before our son was born when we were 40 years old. I think 40 is about max for us...If it did not work we were going to give up- we actually had given up already but I wanted to try once more and glad we did. I wish i was a bit younger but its not stopping me from doing anything with my son, I just do it a little slower than I use to, lol.
    Last edited by Aruba4ever; 06-04-2019 at 03:51 PM.

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