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Thread: Perspective

  1. #1
    Senior Member Aruba4ever's Avatar
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    Perspective

    I am sitting here pretty dumbfounded at this moment at an email I just read. It puts everything into perspective. What is important? Family and friends is my answer. Anyhow a little background as to how we got to this email.

    My son is getting bullied by a teammate on his club soccer team. This teammate is also on the local town team I coach....the bullying does not happen there as the kid knows it won't be tolerated for a second with any player let alone my son but its constant at club at this point. Anyhow, its gotten really, really bad of late. My son was in tears over what happened the other day. The kid was saying he is going to beat up CJ and make him cry....and CJ is scared. Thankfully he has a teammate that has almost adopted CJ as his younger brother and steps up every time to protect him. "Nate" has almost gone to blows twice over the last 2 weeks but the other kid thought better of it. Think of Nate as a gentle giant....he is not letting the little kid get picked on by someone twice his size.

    So that brings me to today. I sent Nates mom an email thanking her for raising an upstanding young man that steps up to do the right thing even when its hard. She responded that my email made her day as 2020 has been incredibly hard for her and the family. She let me know she lost her 15 year old daughter this year unexpectedly earlier this year- hit me like a ton of bricks today. For those that don't know I am a wellness teacher- I can read between the lines and sadly her daughter lost a bitter fight with mental illness. Suicide prevention is something I teach yearly and when I teach it later this year I will have this young girl on my mind while I do.

    Not really sure why I am posting this other than you never know what someone else is dealing with so we all need to cut some people some slack.
    Last edited by Aruba4ever; 11-27-2020 at 10:14 AM.
    June 8th - can't get here quick enough!








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  2. #2
    Senior Member B Likes To Travel's Avatar
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    I’m so sorry CJ is going through that. I’m glad to hear Nate’s mom is teaching him kindness. So sad about the young woman.

    We never know what someone is going through. It never hurts to be kind.
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  3. #3
    Aruba since 1979
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    Andrea J.'s Avatar
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    There is just so much sadness everywhere.

    I am so glad that you reached out to Nate's mom.
    She must be devastated.

    I am glad that you and tracy are aware of the bullying and on top of it.
    Bully's only win for a short time.
    He will be a victim soon enough...maybe he is already.

    November 26 - December 10 Photos https://photos.app.goo.gl/K6JFHPUx18oB69Nh7
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  4. #4
    Senior Member Aruba4ever's Avatar
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    Its in incredibly hard thing to deal with but we are on top of it. The coach knows what is going on and has been trying to deal with it to no avail. I reached out to the director as well to voice my displeasure and to let them know we would be leaving the club as a result of this situation. CJ has a tryout with a new club next Weds. It appears the club may have had enough of the other player and it appears they may be ready to kick him off the squad but actions speak louder than words. All that said they have exactly one week to figure it out if/when CJ is offered a spot on the other squad.

    Quote Originally Posted by Andrea J. View Post
    There is just so much sadness everywhere.

    I am so glad that you reached out to Nate's mom.
    She must be devastated.

    I am glad that you and tracy are aware of the bullying and on top of it.
    Bully's only win for a short time.
    He will be a victim soon enough...maybe he is already.
    June 8th - can't get here quick enough!








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  5. #5
    Senior Member Pegmeister's Avatar
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    Sad to hear that CJ has been bullied. It’s such a problem these days and I’m sure the stress of the pandemic doesn’t help things. We never really know what goes on in other people’s lives that helps contribute to the behavior.

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  6. #6
    Senior Member brady bear's Avatar
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    CJ will be welcome to the other teams, along with an amazing supporting family.
    Who knows this may open up to more kids being bullied by others too.

    Bullies are of all ages, size, color and race.
    There is a nurse at my job 50yo and still bullies people.
    She started with me, and I ignored it for a long time, then went off on her.
    Management is totally aware and just let it go.
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  7. #7
    Senior Member Aruba4ever's Avatar
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    Thanks for the message- thanks to all others as well. Sorry you too had to deal with a bully at work...no fun at all. Glad you stood up. Its disappointing management does nothing about it...talk about a hostile work environment.

    Quote Originally Posted by brady bear View Post
    CJ will be welcome to the other teams, along with an amazing supporting family.
    Who knows this may open up to more kids being bullied by others too.

    Bullies are of all ages, size, color and race.
    There is a nurse at my job 50yo and still bullies people.
    She started with me, and I ignored it for a long time, then went off on her.
    Management is totally aware and just let it go.
    June 8th - can't get here quick enough!








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  8. #8
    Senior Member robin's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by brady bear View Post
    Bullies are of all ages, size, color and race.
    .
    Very true and very sad.


    Jay, I am sorry CJ is going through this. Hopefully, it will make him stronger and with your support I am sure it will. Several years ago I had a group of bullies(girls) in my 3rd grade classroom. I took the three of them out in the hallway and told them about the bullies I had when I was about their age and about the nice kids. I told them that is how I remember these people 40+ years later. I asked them how they wanted to be remembered by their classmates when they were my age. One girl, the leader and biggest bully of the group totally turned herself around. The other behaved for the rest of the year.
    Last edited by robin; 11-27-2020 at 03:52 PM.

  9. #9
    Senior Member cpjones's Avatar
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    Jay... thanks for sharing.... the others have already expressed my thoughts. My best to CJ.
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  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by Aruba4ever View Post
    I am sitting here pretty dumbfounded at this moment at an email I just read. It puts everything into perspective. What is important? Family and friends is my answer. Anyhow a little background as to how we got to this email.

    My son is getting bullied by a teammate on his club soccer team. This teammate is also on the local town team I coach....the bullying does not happen there as the kid knows it won't be tolerated for a second with any player let alone my son but its constant at club at this point. Anyhow, its gotten really, really bad of late. My son was in tears over what happened the other day. The kid was saying he is going to beat up CJ and make him cry....and CJ is scared. Thankfully he has a teammate that has almost adopted CJ as his younger brother and steps up every time to protect him. "Nate" has almost gone to blows twice over the last 2 weeks but the other kid thought better of it. Think of Nate as a gentle giant....he is not letting the little kid get picked on by someone twice his size.

    So that brings me to today. I sent Nates mom an email thanking her for raising an upstanding young man that steps up to do the right thing even when its hard. She responded that my email made her day as 2020 has been incredibly hard for her and the family. She let me know she lost her 15 year old daughter this year unexpectedly earlier this year- hit me like a ton of bricks today. For those that don't know I am a wellness teacher- I can read between the lines and sadly her daughter lost a bitter fight with mental illness. Suicide prevention is something I teach yearly and when I teach it later this year I will have this young girl on my mind while I do.

    Not really sure why I am posting this other than you never know what someone else is dealing with so we all need to cut some people some slack.
    Your post got me shiver. Suicide have been the language of a teens lately. Been hearing and watching news about this. even artists die because of committing suicide and all boils down to depression (a mental illness that often misunderstood as to just being 'lonely'). Good thing you do wellness, you can help individuals to meditate and build a strong support system.

    And kudos to Nate and his mom despite of losing a loved one - thats really tough.

    Thanks for sharing your experience!
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