This site uses cookies. Some are essential while others improve your browsing experience and allow us to advertise. For more info visit the privacy policy page.

Allow inessential cookies for:

Your preferences have been updated.

Page 12 of 31 FirstFirst ... 2101112131422 ... LastLast
Results 111 to 120 of 310

Thread: Two Canadians Don't Walk Into A Bar...

  1. #111
    Senior Member robin's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2016
    Location
    Eagle Beach, Oceania, north side
    Posts
    4,534
    Post Thanks / Like
    Quote Originally Posted by act1966 View Post
    Stop! Thief!

    I headed to Superfood because tomorrow is a holiday and god forbid we run out of wine or mustard soup. SF has these cart thingies (technical term) where you can put heavy items on the bottom underneath the child seat. So I plunk down a six-pack of sparkling water (you know where this is headed). Normally, I would put the water in the main cart area but it was a heavy shop so I needed the extra capacity. Nice time at the cashier, exchanged pleasantries, and make my way to the dreaded revolving door (which was wide open, thank god) but before I can exit, a security guard stops me and points at the sparkling water. "Oops." Back in I go, mortified. But then I remembered: I just spent $190 USD on groceries, was I going to risk criminal charges over a six-pack of Jumbo sparkling??

    This update is being written from Aruba's central prison. Send help! I'm too pretty!

    Heh. Good times.

    With my notorious ways behind me, I headed back to The Manse and to tell The Spouse my tale of criminal activity. He loses interest very quickly and says, "Next time: stick the wine down there." Good thinking, Al Capone...

    Other than that riveting tale, it's been pretty quiet around the homestead as it was overcast for most of yesterday (television and reading) and, today, I went for a 10km walk to the lighthouse and back. Saw four people: we all socially distanced by running blindly into traffic. Wouldn't that be a kick in the pants? "He died avoiding COVID..."

    The cell block guard is telling me to wrap it up. He doesn't know that I've made a shiv out of the sparkling water bottle.
    With the prison being so close the beaches, you must have great view.






    0 1
     

  2. #112
    Aruba since 1979
    Moderator
    Andrea J.'s Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Posts
    38,893
    Post Thanks / Like
    well I just peed my pants.
    Quote Originally Posted by act1966 View Post
    Stop! Thief!


    This update is being written from Aruba's central prison. Send help! I'm too pretty!

    Heh. Good times.

    With my notorious ways behind me, I headed back to The Manse and to tell The Spouse my tale of criminal activity. He loses interest very quickly and says, "Next time: stick the wine down there." Good thinking, Al Capone...

    Other than that riveting tale, it's been pretty quiet around the homestead as it was overcast for most of yesterday (television and reading) and, today, I went for a 10km walk to the lighthouse and back. Saw four people: we all socially distanced by running blindly into traffic. Wouldn't that be a kick in the pants? "He died avoiding COVID..."

    The cell block guard is telling me to wrap it up. He doesn't know that I've made a shiv out of the sparkling water bottle.

  3. #113
    Senior Member Aruba4ever's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    Posts
    5,382
    Post Thanks / Like
    Funny.
    Trip 32 begins on July 15.








    1 0
     

  4. #114
    Senior Member bhoffdhoff's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2011
    Posts
    571
    Post Thanks / Like
    Quote Originally Posted by act1966 View Post
    Stop! Thief!

    I headed to Superfood because tomorrow is a holiday and god forbid we run out of wine or mustard soup. SF has these cart thingies (technical term) where you can put heavy items on the bottom underneath the child seat. So I plunk down a six-pack of sparkling water (you know where this is headed). Normally, I would put the water in the main cart area but it was a heavy shop so I needed the extra capacity. Nice time at the cashier, exchanged pleasantries, and make my way to the dreaded revolving door (which was wide open, thank god) but before I can exit, a security guard stops me and points at the sparkling water. "Oops." Back in I go, mortified. But then I remembered: I just spent $190 USD on groceries, was I going to risk criminal charges over a six-pack of Jumbo sparkling??

    This update is being written from Aruba's central prison. Send help! I'm too pretty!

    Heh. Good times.

    With my notorious ways behind me, I headed back to The Manse and to tell The Spouse my tale of criminal activity. He loses interest very quickly and says, "Next time: stick the wine down there." Good thinking, Al Capone...

    Other than that riveting tale, it's been pretty quiet around the homestead as it was overcast for most of yesterday (television and reading) and, today, I went for a 10km walk to the lighthouse and back. Saw four people: we all socially distanced by running blindly into traffic. Wouldn't that be a kick in the pants? "He died avoiding COVID..."

    The cell block guard is telling me to wrap it up. He doesn't know that I've made a shiv out of the sparkling water bottle.
    Hahahaha!
    1 0
     

  5. #115
    Senior Member act1966's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2012
    Location
    In the pool.
    Posts
    3,080
    Post Thanks / Like
    Quote Originally Posted by Andrea J. View Post
    well I just peed my pants.
    My plan is finally working.
    0 0
     

  6. #116
    Senior Member act1966's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2012
    Location
    In the pool.
    Posts
    3,080
    Post Thanks / Like
    Quote Originally Posted by robin View Post
    With the prison being so close the beaches, you must have great view.
    It's lovely. If I could just get my cell mate to stop humming the theme from "Deliverance", it'd be perfect.
    0 1
     

  7. #117
    Senior Member act1966's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2012
    Location
    In the pool.
    Posts
    3,080
    Post Thanks / Like
    Quote Originally Posted by Traceyd14 View Post
    Why do you not have a reality show?
    Because you're not here to star in it with me. "Next on 'Imaginary Friends in Paradise'... Tracey mixes breakfast cocktails while Stephen detonates a revolving door.."
    0 1
     

  8. #118
    Senior Member act1966's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2012
    Location
    In the pool.
    Posts
    3,080
    Post Thanks / Like
    'Allo Aloe!

    Just spent a kaka-load on "Aruba Aloe"https://arubaaloe.aw/ products - it's Flag Day so they unleashed their annual "Florins for USD" promotion today. Online only. Because: pandemic. We're stocked up for another year and bought some stuff to hurl at our freezing friends up north.

    I don't "garden". I hate it...dirt, bugs, dirt and more bugs. No, thanks. My mother-in-law went on and on about the virtues of gardening for years and how I should "learn to love it". I once offered her an exorbitant amount of money to come work on our garden in Canada... she declined. "But you love it so much!" She shot me a death look. That was the end of that.

    So it's fallen to The Spouse who's really embraced it down here. One thing I asked (i.e. demanded) was that we get rolling with some tomatoes and basil for pizza since we're down here for the duration. He obliged and off we went. Even threw in some hot pepper seeds, thyme and rosemary to see if we could make a go of it. Things started to grow and bloom; the excitement was palpable. Then we had the house treated for termites. We didn't realize that a full treatment included the spraying of all plants on the property. I heard a blood-curdling scream and thus ended our self-sustained organic experiment. But we're trying again with a focus on tomatoes and basil. We continue to water the poisoned cilantro and hot peppers just to see how long they'll take.

    Two Canadians Don't Walk Into A Bar...-plant1-jpgTwo Canadians Don't Walk Into A Bar...-plant2-jpgTwo Canadians Don't Walk Into A Bar...-plant4-jpgTwo Canadians Don't Walk Into A Bar...-plant5-jpgTwo Canadians Don't Walk Into A Bar...-plant6-jpg

    I may spin the poison roulette wheel and try the hot peppers when they come to fruition. Then I'll be able to say to the mother-in-law, "See?!? Gardening killed me!!!!"
    1 1
     

  9. #119
    Senior Member act1966's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2012
    Location
    In the pool.
    Posts
    3,080
    Post Thanks / Like
    And this... finally nailing it after experimenting with lots of variables...

    Two Canadians Don't Walk Into A Bar...-bread2-jpg
    0 2
     

  10. #120
    Aruba since 1979
    Moderator
    Andrea J.'s Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Posts
    38,893
    Post Thanks / Like
    still laughing at today's update.
    (June Allison underpants on my CVS list)

    Give some MJ peppers a try.
    Be very careful pulling out the seeds from the pepper.
    I hope that your tomatoes do well.

    We have been very unsuccessful in growing tomatoes in Florida sun and heat.

    We have though been very successful with pineapple and avocados.


    Our avocado seed that we planted in 2014 is now a tree of about 12 feet tall with a trunk of about 6" in diameter.
    We have been picking about 4 pineapples a year.

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •