Spiraling back up

[Laura in NH]

I had a rough end to 2021 with my stepmom and brother passing away within 2 days of each other. My brother's death affected me deeply and differently than any death I've experienced before. I spiraled downhill and got into a funk where I stayed until recently. I turned to food and online shopping to soothe myself and avoided people (especially happy people) as much as I could. I acted 'normal' at work and on social media to keep people from noticing or poking into my business, and tried to go about life as usual. In hindsight this was exhausting and only contributed to the funk.

A couple of weeks ago as I sat my fat self on the sofa surrounded by crap I bought but didn't need, something just clicked or changed or whatever. No significant 'aha moment' or anything... just my constant sadness wasn't constant. I started looking forward to doing (anything really), and am laughing and smiling more. I've returned to being active again at lodge I belong to. I had booked my annual trip in Feb/Mar as usual but never called any of my friends as I usually do to pre-plan and catch up. Now we are all in touch and I'm excited and looking forward to seeing my friends again.

I guess I just needed to spill this and don't want to do it to my RL friends or via my social media outlets. It feels good to say (type) it out loud. It feels good to enjoy others' happiness rather than envy it. It feels good to feel good again.
Thanks for letting me vent here.

[Andrea J.]

Keep
on spiraling up.
My condolences on your losses.

[Aruba4ever]

So glad you are feeling better! You had a horrific stretch and the weight of the world is heavy at times and I am sure you feel much better now with your new approach/thinking. Thanks for sharing, it makes others realize they may not be alone when they too are struggling. Happy planning for your upcoming trip!

[Colette M]

It takes a lot to admit and recognize behavioral changes which many experience but do nothing about. Forgiving yourself is key. So kudos to you for that. Very sorry for your losses. Thanks for sharing and take it one day at a time. You can celebrate small wins. Enjoy planning your trip.

[cpjones]

Horrible losses back to back. So sorry you lost them.... and I do understand the 'funk'...... Sharing is good therapy.... and so glad you're doing better and working toward getting back to normal.

[B Likes To Travel]

Glad you’re on the up and up! Keep going.

[LisaGrn]

Thank you for sharing this with us, Laura. I'm so very sorry for your loss. But you have come through, still fighting, and that shows your inner strength. Now you can look forward to better days but with the memory of your loved ones in your heart. They will always be with you, walking by your side, keeping you strong. So proud of you for making it through...

[Jacki]

Up spiraling is the best spiraling...sending love

[kimmy1956]

My deepest sympathy. I know all to well how you feel. Please know your not alone. We all face devastating loss. Unfortantely,it's a part of life(such a cliche)You keep moving forward.

[Pegmeister]

I so relate to how you were feeling. Life challenges hit us hard at times. Happy to hear that you have worked through it and are feeling better!!!!