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Aruba Nights Island Guide
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Thread: Every Opinion, Your Voice and Thoughts Counts.....Gaslighting Forbidden

  1. #1
    Aruba since 1979
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    Andrea J.'s Avatar
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    Every Opinion, Your Voice and Thoughts Counts.....Gaslighting Forbidden

    In recent days I have been reading some other Aruba Social Media sites.
    There has been lots of gaslighting on a particular subject and it is pretty ridiculous and unfortunate.

    Up til a couple of years ago I was unfamiliar with the term.
    If you are unfamiliar with it, here is a definition that seems to be perfect

    “Gaslighting” to refer to a specific type of manipulation where the manipulator is trying to get someone else (or a group of people) to question their own reality, memory or perceptions.

    If it is ever done here, it is unintentional and any type of this practice is not tolerated and the posting will be deleted.

    On the other site where it is happening it is flagrant and deliberate and to the point of almost being abusive.

    Please state your opinions and your reviews without the fear of being pounced upon or manipulated.
    THINK.. is it Thoughtful? Helpful? Inspirational? Necessary? Kind? SIDTM
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  2. #2
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    Thank you, Andrea. I was a victim of gaslighting in May when I posted on another site my opinion about the lack of use of masks and social distancing that I observed. I don’t use the term victim lightly. Over 40 responses attacking my observation as well as hurtful and untrue snarly comments about me was enough to keep me from responding to their abuse. The bullying was a feeding frenzy for these “people.” It completely stopped me from posting again until I recently came to the realization that these “people “ really don’t matter to me. So I have slowly been commenting on that site again.
    I sincerely appreciate all you do on this site to keep it civil and friendly. Thank you again.
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  3. #3
    Aruba since 1979
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    thank you.

    I see it often and it is sad.
    I hate that some feel that they are so high/mighty/uppity that they believe their words are the "be all and the end all."
    All the while making someone else's opinion minimized or non existent.

    Quote Originally Posted by Tuckahoe View Post
    Thank you, Andrea. I was a victim of gaslighting in May when I posted on another site my opinion about the lack of use of masks and social distancing that I observed. I don’t use the term victim lightly. Over 40 responses attacking my observation as well as hurtful and untrue snarly comments about me was enough to keep me from responding to their abuse. The bullying was a feeding frenzy for these “people.” It completely stopped me from posting again until I recently came to the realization that these “people “ really don’t matter to me. So I have slowly been commenting on that site again.
    I sincerely appreciate all you do on this site to keep it civil and friendly. Thank you again.
    THINK.. is it Thoughtful? Helpful? Inspirational? Necessary? Kind? SIDTM
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  4. #4
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    I believe the term “gaslighting” came from the movie from the 40’s titled Gaslight. It’s a psychological thriller starring Ingrid Bergman and Charles Boyer. It’s a great flick!
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  5. #5
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    Some people are miserable and insist on spreading their misery. Glad this site is on the kind side of the internet


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  6. #6
    Aruba since 1979
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    thanks stoney....I never knew that. I wonder if we can find it on TCM.
    I never heard the term til about 2 years ago and thought it was "odd".
    Its practice is even odder.

    This is not an example that I have seen, but it is an example:

    My Aruba Story
    Me.........ugg it rained most of the day yesterday in Aruba

    Rebuttal Post.........no, it did not there are never all day rainy days on Aruba

    Me......well I am still here and it rained from 8 a- 5 p yesterday....so we went to the movies.

    Rebuttal Post....I got in yesterday am staying next door to where you are staying and it was not raining, it was glorious.

    ...................and it goes on and on.
    it is an ugly practice and not allowed here.


    Quote Originally Posted by stoney4555 View Post
    I believe the term “gaslighting” came from the movie from the 40’s titled Gaslight. It’s a psychological thriller starring Ingrid Bergman and Charles Boyer. It’s a great flick!
    THINK.. is it Thoughtful? Helpful? Inspirational? Necessary? Kind? SIDTM
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  7. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by Andrea J. View Post
    thanks stoney....I never knew that. I wonder if we can find it on TCM.
    I never heard the term til about 2 years ago and thought it was "odd".
    Its practice is even odder.

    This is not an example that I have seen, but it is an example:

    My Aruba Story
    Me.........ugg it rained most of the day yesterday in Aruba

    Rebuttal Post.........no, it did not there are never all day rainy days on Aruba

    Me......well I am still here and it rained from 8 a- 5 p yesterday....so we went to the movies.

    Rebuttal Post....I got in yesterday am staying next door to where you are staying and it was not raining, it was glorious.

    ...................and it goes on and on.
    it is an ugly practice and not allowed here.
    Andrea, I just checked TCM and Gaslight is on Sept. 19th at 8am. I haven’t seen it in years so I might try to watch it then.
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  8. #8
    Aruba since 1979
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    will set our DVR
    thanks
    Quote Originally Posted by stoney4555 View Post
    Andrea, I just checked TCM and Gaslight is on Sept. 19th at 8am. I haven’t seen it in years so I might try to watch it then.
    THINK.. is it Thoughtful? Helpful? Inspirational? Necessary? Kind? SIDTM
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  9. #9
    Senior Member schexc's Avatar
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    I must live in a closet. Never heard the term.







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  10. #10
    Senior Member bhoffdhoff's Avatar
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    Thank you for being so vigilant. I'm glad this is such a nice forum and that the members are so caring.
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